If I were a painter..

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 08:47:19 GMT

so.

new journal:

targetform

i've added pretty much everyone already on my friends list, so add me back if you'd like.

happy end of summer. boston soon.

yes, again.

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 04:01:41 GMT

ha, i'm out while i'm ahead.

peeeeeace out. hahah

just so you know

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 00:50:36 GMT

i feel like a total butterface today. BUT: two hundred and sixty-six dollars and fourteen cents worth of cstone tickets are on their way to my house and i am so excited i could giggle. AND i was craving pancakes today and found some at mcdonalds for two dollars and twenty-three cents.

B-E-A-UTIFUL.

life is lovely :)

i feel like playing in the rain or being somewhere cold. i think i could smile forever..

So take the lively air, and, lovely, learn by going where to go.

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 15:09:15 GMT

i don't like that my parents just walked out the door holding sara and will be back soon with her in a box. i don't like that we can choose when that's to happen. i'm really confused and i don't know how to feel. but mostly, i'm pretty upset. why do two people i love have to die within just a few months? it's overwhelming.

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 16:07:07 GMT

Waiting for the rain to stop.
Destination's beautiful.
Seems that I'm still waiting for the sun.
Someday will come back to us, if you're willing let it go.
Why won't you just let this be your sun?
It seems like yesterday we had the world our way.
But some say we're heading for destruction.

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 05:13:44 GMT

and Jesus, I'm ready to come home

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 06:22:29 GMT

i want my first date with the man i marry to be at the polk theatre. i absolutely love it.

and another day passes just another day; and it's so easy to forget what you lived for

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 15:41:24 GMT

why have we let it get to this
why have we let it go this far
lets give it all up and live.

i found something fun to do.

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 05:53:04 GMT

pretend you like it and ask for one so i can make more :)

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 03:55:39 GMT

This world has nothing for me;

I will follow You.

words worth living by

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 04:04:24 GMT

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not as much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we are pardoned;
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

______________________________________________

1 John 3:18

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 03:04:50 GMT

peace out livejournal.

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 20:02:14 GMT

my mom is taking me to see phantom of the opera for my birthday. :) i am really excited about that.

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 03:33:40 GMT

i HATE puking.

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 03:41:02 GMT

so, i'm anemic. cool. haha or so my blood tests say. i am to be re-tested at the end of december. meanwhile: iron supplements for me! yaaay!

i think i only complain about my weird sicknesses here anymore. but sneriously, i feel better now. and it is grand. AND- the blood bank sent me a license plate. haha yessssss.

i am addicted to online shopping. i have bought six christmas presents for people on the internet already. and- i bought a book online last night? which was my first. but- jason said it was his favorite and i liked the quote i read from it, aaand i'm a book addict, so i thought why not.

coming up: holly ball (fancypants), getting my hair did, christmas parade!, acceptance letter (hopefully), trip to bostonia, MY BIRTHDAY!

which, by the way- i'm thinking big dinner at chili's maybe saturday the 18th? (20's a school day now and after that's christmas time) i want everyone to go so i can feel like i have a lot of friends. :) but basically i just want to do something fun for the big 1-8. haha and eating is at the top of my list.

have a beautiful tuesday

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 02:45:52 GMT

i. love. family.

i love the idea of a family, i love my family, i love being with my family (immediate and extended)

that's about it. i just love having my family. happy turkey day!

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 19:44:23 GMT

I think I'm going to join either the Peace Corps or the Red Cross International Response Team.

Amazing what God will show you just when you think you have it all figured out.

one of my favorite poems

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 06:50:57 GMT

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

my medical history for the past few months:

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 00:32:09 GMT

i have been to two different doctors four separate times, left with five different prescriptions, had blood taken for several tests, been visited by paramedics in my own home, had a sinus infection, chance of low thyroid (?), and continuous allergies.

good night, why am i falling apart all of a sudden? haha it's rather humorous actually. i asked my mom if my christmas presents this year are going to have to be all these doctor visits and medications, haha

oh well though. i got to use the fact the i had blood drawn today as and excuse to skip cotillion and eat at carabba's with my mom, so that wasn't too bad.

_________________________________________________________________________

this weekend was wonderful though
-norah jones was beautiful (although we couldn't really see her)
-blaring "softcore" underoath at midnight on I4 haha yeeeah
-drinking dc straight from the bottle and eating white cheddar popcorn and cookies
-waking up on the same mattress freezing.. ha
-playing euchre and being 'in the barn' with tim (it's still 9-7 han)
-having mud and shaving cream flung at me.
-sat outside and read passion & purity by myself for two hours.. lovely.
-a wonderful service; feeling God near
-watched middle schoolers do trex and stuart impersonations
-saw christina leigh and amy

life's getting better, i think i'm finally letting go. thank you, God

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 18:24:49 GMT

what can make me whole again?
nothing but the blood of Jesus.

black is the new red

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 19:39:11 GMT

are you near and is it far
can i get to where you are
without your strength within me
without your presence under my skin
with nothing at all
i want you inside

there's nothing left to say to you
there's nothing left for me to do
than raise my hands in awe to you
it's you i know that gets me through

it's out of my hands again
i fold myself up again

LAST RESORT

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 11:23:45 GMT

i have two beautiful norah jones tickets just sitting here begging to be used. if anyone would like to buy them from me that would be a-mazing. it's for nov. 12 (tomorrow night), and i paid $80, so you can have them for.. $60ish?

please please give me a call if you'd be interested: 370-8316 and leave a message if i don't answer. i'll call you back

on a different note-

yesterday i donated blood around 11. i come home, eat lunch, drink the diet coke they gave me, and then settle in to finish my nice, long psychology research paper. around 5 when my mom gets home, i was just finishing so i stood up to go watch gilmore girls. my mom was in the room, and i think i thought i was trying to give her a hug, but my eyes blacked out and i felt my knees give up, and then i passed out. about 30 seconds later, i open my eyes staring at the ceiling and i hear my mom running around frantically saying no no no lauren lauren. so i mumble that i'm okay and she comes back in here, but calls 911. a fire rescue crew comes, checks my "vitals" and helps me up, and then an ambulence comes and the paramedics check my blood sugar levels.

the diagnosis: give blood less often and eat a pb&j sandwich and some juice.

my mom made me go to bed (which i gladly did) so i missed church :( and had to get up early to do homework. but i felt so silly sitting there with all these strange men that i don't know staring at me while they waited for the ambulence to come. it was like they were afraid if they took their eyes off me i might pass out again and fall out of the chair. i don't like being the center of attention!

what a day. anyways, my posts have been kind of long and boring lately- sorry. but, such is life. have a good thursday everyone

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 19:19:19 GMT

Please take 5 minutes, click on this link and fill out the info to send emails to the president and members of congress asking them to fully fund global AIDS relief. It's really easy- they already have the email made and they figure out who your representatives are. You basically just have to give them your email address. It'll only take a few minutes and doesn't cost you anything. World Vision is the organization doing it, this is who they are:

(from their website)

"World Vision is a Christian relief and development organization dedicated to helping children and their communities worldwide reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty.
World Vision helps transform the lives of the world's poorest children and families in nearly 100 countries, including the United States. Our non-profit work extends assistance to all people, regardless of their religious beliefs, gender, race, or ethnic background."

World Vision

thanks a million :)

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 16:33:04 GMT

You are the soundtrack of my life
You are the song inside my heart

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 02:55:25 GMT

me: "so, are you going to start wearing girl pants now, too?"

max: "NO. i'm not a scenester. gosh."

me: "ooookay, well if you want to borrow my pants, you can."

max: "really?" (runs to my bedroom)

haha he's so cute in his tight girls' jeans. with his little booty. :)